Among the various matters, domestic and workers, under the inclined TV with its debates and news reports, we gradually lose the ability to communicate and move away. Maybe it’s time to turn
to each other and talk heart to heart?
It would seem, why call for frankness-are we hiding something? In our working resume, we provide information not only about education and work experience, but we talk about personal qualities and hobbies. In social networks, our marital status, emotional status, illness and achievements – all this every day becomes a famous many people. What frankness we miss?
“Communication in social networks is facade,” says an existential psychotherapist, associate professor of Moscow State University. M.IN. Lomonosova Svetlana Krivtsova. – It encourages us to grind the surface of our image, but does not allow us to look into the depths of the personality. “.
The habit of it makes us dependent on the views of glances on the surface. Losing them, we seem to lose part of ourselves. Moreover, the “facade” does not have to be attractive, options are possible here. The image of the eternal sufferer is the same facade as the picture of prosperity, which is persistently presented to other users … and, possibly, to himself.
Social networks, of course, feed these phenomena, but they arise not there – but in our own consciousness. But how to determine where we cease to be frank and begin to believe in the image?
Learn yourself
“In any situation, there is a place for the question of what my contribution to it,” notes Svetlana Krivtsova. -Each of us can at some point bitterly complain about fate, but if this happens every day, then the question arises: what I myself do so that the circumstances are formed in this way?”
The battered truth that the whole has the second side in the world, in this case is quite appropriate. “I have a bad boss, he scolds me, I am unhappy! – But why does his opinion have such a meaning for me?”” The teacher is unfair to me! – Is he fair to others? This is a property of his character or the result of my actions?”
When we do not know everything, we do not know what future our choice promises, we rely on sincerity
Often we see only half the picture and experience strong, but monotonous emotions. “We lack openness in the perception of reality, the ability to accept it,” explains Svetlana Krivtsova. – For example, I cannot accept the fact that my boss is not able to support, because I have a deficiency of parental attention, I want to see a parent in him and suffer from his treatment as if I am a child, not an adult ”.
The more extensive internal white spots, unknown or poorly studied areas of our psyche, the stronger the emotions: “They offend me!”,” I love me!”And we often confuse this emotionality with sincerity. But real sincerity is impossible without honesty. Faith in their words can be a consequence of fear or error. We need readiness for self -knowledge and introspection.
Sincerity lies in the desire to understand: what I want to show to others and what, on the contrary, I try to hide. In recognizing their feelings and needs. In the ability to ask yourself questions: who am I? How can I prove myself? How to live in accordance with what I believe in, with those principles that I consider important?
“The advantages of sincerity are huge,” says the philosopher and psychoanalyst Elsa Hodar. – This position helps to make a decision in difficult situations. When we do not know everything, we don’t know what future our choice promises, we rely on sincerity: I decide, relying on myself, my soul and conscience. This is the foundation of our freedom. If freedom is to be the cause of the elections and actions, then there can be no freedom without sincerity. “. And the one who seeks not to pass by his own life will take care of her.